Customer: Can I get a beer?Bartender: Sure...would you like that with hops or no hops?
Customer: Huh?
Bartender: Do you want little remnants of the stuff used to make the beer floating in it?
Customer: Ew. No. Why would I want that?
EXACTLY.
We don't want hops in our beer, leaves in our iced tea, or curd in our milk, so why do we want things floating in our orange juice? A toothpick should not be required after consuming a beverage*
Minute Maid: you are not fooling anyone with your pulp. Your juice comes in a carton! We know it is not fresh-squeezed! The cat is out of the bag (and she hates your pulp too)! How is it even possible to have orange juice with pulp that is "from concentrate?" Do they dry and then rehydrate the pulp? Is the "concentrate" just a thick, pulp-y sludge like the frozen OJ? Either way, YUM!
Also, could the word "pulp" be any grosser? Go ahead and say it a few times out loud if you think you still want it in your orange juice.
*exception: mojito
Next items up for banishment: Vanity License Plates or Watches/Clocks with No Numbers (vote now in the comments!)
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