There is very little information your car can communicate via decal that I am interested in. I do not care who you voted for, that your child is an honor student, or that you "support the CHP.*"I do care if you are a "student driver," because I want to stay the hell away from you. I also care if you believe that "guns don't kill people, people kill people," because I know not to issue you my standard horn-honking-bird-flipping-WTF-face-making trifecta when your driving displeases me. You may have a gun.
But, I most certainly do not give a flying/swimming/jogging/otherwise-in-motion f**k about who is in your family. Why do people do this? It is one of those curious practices that I can easily imagine archaeologists in 10,000 years misinterpreting: "Oh yes, Ancient Americans branded their vehicles with the members of their family to symbolize being one unit, moving forward together into the future." I wish I could call them up from the great beyond to say "Don't even bother, guys...we were just as dumbfounded by it in the present. Focus on dinosaurs instead."
I have half a mind to start stealing the "youngest"sticker from all of these cars and making them into a giant decal on my car under the heading "Have you seen this child?" Except I know that my car is not a Trapper Keeper.
*people seem to think this sticker raises the BAC or speed limit for them personally. It does not.
Next up for Banishment: Cash 4 Gold vs. Mall Cart Vendors
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9 comments:
I just want to banish some of my co-workers. Do you have the power to help me.
Why not start start adding your own sticker below them that says "Family and pets depicted by these stick figures may be larger than they actually appear". OR a note on the windshield of one of the parked cars with the stickers on them saying "Thanks. Look for a stick figure representation of your kid on a milk carton coming to a supermarket near you."
have you see the "flip flop family" bumper stickers? sooo stupid. i love your blog, thank you!
It's funny you mention these...I had a different take. Check out my first blog post.
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I put the following stick figures on my car: Lady, 12 cats. I don't own a cat but you can never get enough crazy cat lady representations.
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