Things that have happened since the first ban on smoking on airplanes was enacted in 1988:
1) The Berlin wall is dismantled
2) The US, USSR*, Japan and eleven European countries collaborate to build and launch into orbit the first International Space Station
3) *USSR stops being the "USSR" (which, oddly, does not get James Bond to leave it alone)
4) The food pyramid, suggesting that humans consume 6-11 (11?!) servings of carbohydrates each day, is "re-evaluated"
5) Every member of the 2008 Chinese Women's Gymnastics Olympic team is born, becomes an Olympian.
6) State-of-the-art tamper-proof smoke detectors are installed in airplane bathrooms
Things that have not happened since the first ban on smoking on airplanes was enacted in 1988:
1) Ashtrays are removed from airplane bathrooms (or lavatories...as they are called absolutely nowhere else).
As the war among airlines to appear the most up-to-date wages on (Virgin: Electrical outlets and touch-screen ordering right at your f&*#ing seat! Beat that JetBlue!), they inexplicably allow the most conspicuous indicators of how old their aircrafts really are to remain.
Did the individual who installed the smoke detector, the "no smoking" sign, AND the "tampering with this device will result in a $200 million fine and possible dismembering/internment in Cambodian prison" sign, look around the bathroom and say to himself, "My work here is done! There is nothing else I could possibly do to make it clear that you are not allowed to smoke in here!"? (ed. note to installer: At least put the sign over the ashtray!)
Perhaps the deep, dark secret is that somehow these ashtrays are a critical component of the aircraft's engineering, and removing them would require a complete mechanical overhaul to the tune of billions of dollars per fleet. Don't think so? Me either.
Next items up for Banishment: Ticketmaster, or Orange Juice with Pulp
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10 comments:
Its the serpent with the apple, airplane remix, testing your will power.
i vote pulp....who wants to take a gulp of something and get shit in your teeth
BANISH ORANGE JUICE WITH PULP.
GROSS! and whats with the "harvest style" that has EXTRA pulp. who wants that?
ps. in elementary school the teachers called the bathroom "the lav" short for lavatory. and we had to ask for a "lav pass".
THATS SOMETHIGN ELSE TO BANISH--- a pass in school that ALLOWS you to go to the bathroom. wtf.
I hate ticketmaster.
they are the worst company ever
pulp is actually fucking delicious and i will fight to death my right to drink it.
sorry I'm voting to ban anything that charges me $20 for "convenience". i happen to find it extremely inconvenient paying $20 for nothing. assholes.
i believe that ticketmaster is the bigger evil here, seeing as how you have the option to buy your orange juice with or without pulp, yet not the option of whether or not to include "convenience" with your ticketmaster purchase.
people who like pulp are the same people who like bubble tea. i prefer not to chew my liquids, thank you very much.
pulp sucks. nothing more need be said really...
Hmm, I do hate ticketmaster, but i would be interested to see what you might have to say about pulp.
Other banishment suggestions:
spencer pratt, the 3 oz rule on bringing liquids through airport security, paintball?
bravo, nat! as for ticketmaster vs. orange juice, i'm on the pulp side. i prefer my liquids sans chucks.
ticketmaster for sure! who are they to take more money from me when all i want to do is see a really cool hip indie band that no one's ever heard of?
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