Calling or texting not immediate enough for you? Do you sit back and think "Gosh, I wish the person I want to speak to could hear my voice immediately...no pesky ringing or vibrating to clue them in to my intrusion!" Do you crave the garbled, crackling sound quality only a walkie-talkie (or a drive through window!) can offer?You don't, you say? Shocking! But apparently Verizon/Cingular/Various pay-as you go (criminals! inquire within!) cell phone services think you do!
One can only imagine the conversations that gave rise to this technology:
Engineer #1: You know what is so annoying?
Engineer #2: What?
Engineer #1: Answering my cell phone. I hate it!
Engineer #3: You know what I wish?
Engineer #1: That everyone in a 15 foot radius could hear both sides of my cell phone conversations!
Engineer #2: I think we might be on to something...
Oh! And just like a walkie-talkie...only ONE person can speak at a time. That's right. If you're pushing the button while the other person is talking, you won't be able to hear each other. Charming! A NEW technology that is exactly like an OLD technology that is vastly inferior to the technology of a regular cellular phone in every way.
Next items up for Banishment: Magazine Perfume Samples or Ashtrays in Airplane Bathrooms
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8 comments:
you, my friend, are brilliant. I have so many things to add to the list.
Banish ashtrays on airplanes. My house would reek if I canceled my subscription to Vogue and it is cheaper than Febreeze.
Ashtrays on airplanes! hahahaha those are SO DUMB.
magazine perfume samples! who even uses those? plus the accompanying photos are ridiculous.
Funny shit. I would vote for ashtrays, except I remember when people did actually smoke on planes. I have zero use for perfume samples in magazines, though. However, I would like it if they made sports illustrated smell like old leather.
excellent work natalie! definitely go with airplane bathroom ashtrays. despite anthony's protests, i think we all know that he uses the inserts in the latest InStyle to help smell nice for the hottest clubs.
Very cleverly written. I expected nothing less from you. Can you banish living things, too (e.g. ferry shrimp, red legged frogs, etc.)? I know what needs to be banished... the Weather Band on my car radio. It worthless. Does anyone really ever listen to it? Isn't clearer, more personal, and more complete weather information accessible and available enough??? Hmm, I could get into this!
Amazing. Your blog will now make class so much more interesting. Airplane bathroom ashtrays should definitely be next! I also suggest an upcoming entry on the use of braille on drive-through ATMs.
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