Customer: Can I get a beer?Bartender: Sure...would you like that with hops or no hops?
Customer: Huh?
Bartender: Do you want little remnants of the stuff used to make the beer floating in it?
Customer: Ew. No. Why would I want that?
EXACTLY.
We don't want hops in our beer, leaves in our iced tea, or curd in our milk, so why do we want things floating in our orange juice? A toothpick should not be required after consuming a beverage*
Minute Maid: you are not fooling anyone with your pulp. Your juice comes in a carton! We know it is not fresh-squeezed! The cat is out of the bag (and she hates your pulp too)! How is it even possible to have orange juice with pulp that is "from concentrate?" Do they dry and then rehydrate the pulp? Is the "concentrate" just a thick, pulp-y sludge like the frozen OJ? Either way, YUM!
Also, could the word "pulp" be any grosser? Go ahead and say it a few times out loud if you think you still want it in your orange juice.
*exception: mojito
Next items up for banishment: Vanity License Plates or Watches/Clocks with No Numbers (vote now in the comments!)
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12 comments:
vanity plates....please vanity plates
such a hard choice!!!!
Vanity License plates can sometimes be funny.
clocks with no numbers are NEVER funny just annoying
clocks with no numbers! they're like calendars with no dates...well, it's about a third of the way through the week, so it must be about tuesday. wtf?
vanity plates are really good for judging people.
Definitely clocks / watches without numbers.
If you banish vanity license plates, I wouldn't be able to tell the world that IMAGOD...
Would you like it better if they called it "Orange Juice with Juicy Bits"? That's what they say in Ireland.
Clocks with no numbers, please.
Clocks with no numbers. It's rude to point, but even ruder to point at nothing specific.
clocks without numbers, it's like telling time by the sun
best vanity licence plate: RDHEAD
i thought for quite a long time while driving behind this person that she/he loves road head! and i though, well that is a weird thing to put on a licence plate. however... when i finally got up next to her, she was a READ head. someone should tell her her plate is confusing.
i vote watches/clocks without numbers. redic.
Very funny stuff, lady. I would have to vote for Vanity plates. My biggest problem is that I get angry and frustrated when I can't figure out what they mean. Like somehow it's a shot at my intelligence.
wait, i LOVE pulp/juicy bits. What if it IS fresh-squeezed oj? Then shouldn't pulp/juicy bits be allowed?
I have never disagreed with anything more in my life. Pulp is made of kings and queens. It is royalty in a sea of peasants. It is Luther Vandross to Michael Bolton. JC Casez to J.T.
Simply, it is the fabric of our lives.
clocks with no numbers for sure! Vanity plates are like puzzles/entertainment while you drive. You not only get to guess what the plate says but who it is describing!1cameok
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