Timepieces, like cars, homes, and clothing, dwell squarely at the intersection of form and function. The fact that the market is limited for cars without engines, homes without roofs, and pants without crotches*, would seem to indicate that we do not hold timepieces to the same "function" standard as their counterparts. Because clocks and watches without numbers are f*@#ing everywhere.With very few notable exceptions the primary function of any timepiece is to tell time. To their credit, clocks without numbers do indeed keep track of the time. However, they do a appalling job of communicating that time, rendering them about as useful as an English-to- Gobbledygook phrasebook. The question, "what time is it?" should never be a stumper.
Proponents of watches and clocks without numbers ask that we excuse them on grounds of aesthetics or luxury. There are limits to such exemptions in other areas, so why not in time-telling?
Officer: Do you know how fast you were going back there?
Driver: No officer, this is a very nice car.
Office: Excuse me?
Driver: Oh, forgive me, commoner! You did not actually think my speedometer was equipped with numbers! (to passenger) I find that quite diverting!
Passenger: I say! How very diverting indeed!
*I said limited, not non-existent.
Next items up for banishment: Erasable Pens or Dolls that Wet Themselves
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16 comments:
Dolls that wet themselves!! just gross...and not fun.
well done. erasable pens for sure. and then maybe free-standing erasers.
Erasable pens! They never deliver the promised results, often leaving residue behind. Off with their heads!
p.s. I had to choose that one, as I work for a company that makes a good number of dolls that can pee.
dolls that wet themselves. what is that teaching kids, really? that someone will always clean up after you.
why not a blow up sex doll that also throws up?
erasable pens. utterly. unnecessary. and do not WRITE well, which is their intended function.
sidenote, i was a very motherly little girl and loved my "real" baby. i think my mom kept me busy with it so i wouldnt harm my little brother. so, not totally banishable, in my opinion.
NO I like erasable pens!! What we don't need are the toilet seat carpet rug hats!
Erasable pens, please! If you need to erase, add a "-cil" not a gummy, barely functional nub on your pen!
erasable pens are so effing worthless.
The survey at the top right will be the official decider, so don't forget to vote there too!
Hi, Natalie! Long time reader, first time poster.
I'd just like to point out that both items really succeed in their specific purposes. Take the erasable pen. After rubbing the eraser on the paper until all paper is torn away and there is just a gaping hole... didn't you achieve your basic goal just by a different means?
And dolls that wet themselves are simply teaching America's youth... Aw, who am I kidding? General Hawk never wet himself.
(P.S. I happen to enjoy pulp in my orange juice, thank you.)
Nat,
This is GENIUS. No, really. I cannot wait to read this at work because not only is it awesome, but it wont yet be blocked by the smart filter. I think that application might be something you should consider banishing.
Seriously though, congrats on this because it rules.
If I had to vote, I'd pick dolls that wet themselves.
After weighing the pros and cons (well, in this case, I guess they are cons and cons) of both all weekend, I have to go with erasable pens. As a lefty I had a special hatred of them in elementary school as my hand would "erase" everything I just wrote.
Natalie,
My sister showed me this site and it's very funny
and dolls that wet them selves are so much more needed to be banished, eraseable pens are really funny for the retards that try to change their tests with them and fail
Hmm, erasable pens don't work as has been pointed out. They should be banished. Dolls that wet themselves do actually serve a function, which is to make little girls not want to have babies...
As a sidepoint, I think Benjamin meant to say blow up sex dolls that gag...
Keep up the good work!
A blowup doll that wets itself ... hmm ... could we get that initiated to this earth?
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