A conversation between two friends in a car:Friend A: Friends are like balloons; once you let them go, you might not get them back.
Friend B: Thanks for that completely unsolicited nugget of wisdom!
Friend B: Thanks for that completely unsolicited nugget of wisdom!
Friend A: You're so very welcome. Now, pass it along to 8 friends.
Friend B: Um. I don't think I will.
Friend A: Unless you want something bad to happen to your loved ones, you will.
Friend B: What?
Friend A (hands friend B a cell phone): Yeah. Sorry, but that's the consequence for accepting my completely unsolicited nugget of wisdom. You have to pass it along or bad things will happen to you. Start dialing
Friend B: F*$# that! I would have rather you not opened your stupid mouth in the first place!
Friend B: F*$# that! I would have rather you not opened your stupid mouth in the first place!
We don't do this to our friends and family in person, so how did it become acceptable to do it over email?
For even the most hocus-pocus-averse, there is still a moment of pause when an email forcasts doom for you and/or your loved ones unless you follow its instructions. What if I DON'T forward it and something bad happens!?!? I will NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF.
Next time you feel the urge to forward a chain letter, remember this: everyone who hates chain letters (read: everyone) is silently hating you for it. If you are superstitious enough to believe in chain letters, you should probably believe in karma as well. And all of that bad karma you're accumulating by forwarding the letter? I'd venture that forcasts a whole lot more misfortune for you than for the innocent recipient of your email guilt-bomb.
Next up for Banishment: Bolo Ties or Warm Air Hand Dryers
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4 comments:
Hey Natalie,
Can you please banish Automatic-Flushing Toilets? They just installed them at my work, and they are pissing me off. The intent is that they (a)save water and (b)are cleaner. But since they usually flush early, I have to flush again anyway, and since they're "low flow" or whatever, they don't flush well enough the first (or rather second) time, so you have to flush again--even for a #1--and since the sensor on the thing sucks, you usually have to push the button to flush--which is gross. I used to flush once with my foot. Now I flush 1-3 times and have to push a probably pee-spattered button. Not cool.
hahahhaaaa... one of my favorite postings so far...even though i do have strong hatred for mini beer
now please send this along to 8 of your friends within the next 24 hours, or feel the wrath of zeus.
i think for your next one you should do solar powered flash lights
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