Halloween Greeting Cards

Greeting card companies have taken a lot of flack over the years for their so-called "manufactured" holidays: Valentine's Day, Mothers'/Fathers' Day, Secretaries-turned-
Office-Professionals' Day, etc.

While there may be validity to those criticisms, the greatest hoodwink by the greeting card industry manages to somehow escape unscathed: they have convinced people that Halloween is an appropriate holiday for the exchanging of cards!

Halloween is a hedonistic holiday of excess (whether the sugar is in Snickers form or of the fermented liquid variety, Halloween revelers of all ages tend to have upset tummies the day after). Its history is pagan, and the theme is death. All the self-sticking cartoon skeletons and Jack-o-Lantern Peeps you can eat do not change the fact that this "holiday" is inexorable from its dead-mingling-with-the-living roots.

So, before you send a loved one a $4 card adorned with some warm-fuzzied version of a truly macabre symbol, consider whether they'd rather just have a phone call instead.

Next up for Banishment: Esperanto or Wax Fruit