All that is wrong with pennies is evident in the notion of a "lucky penny." The driving force to pick a penny up is not "hey, free money!" but rather, "I irrationally believe that this completely ordinary and totally ubiquitous coin may bring me some sort of good fortune!"Whether they are in a sea at the bottom of a purse (women) or a giant pile on the desk/dresser (men), pennies are essentially trash that you feel bad about throwing away because, hey, it's money. Only a crazy/disgustingly spoiled person throws away money!
So we save them. For parking meters? Nope! For laundry? Out of luck! For pay phones (if you can find one)? Sorry! They have no use for your "money" either. That brief feeling of elation that comes when you hand a cashier $5.01 for a $4.96 purchase? It comes only because you successfully avoided being inconvenienced with four additional pennies.
Our great President Lincoln deserves better. If the treasury insists on keeping these utterly useless and infuriating-in-every-way coins in circulation, I can think of one current president of the United States who might be a more appropriate representative.
Next up for Banishment: Tandem Bicycles or Clear Bra Straps
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6 comments:
I LOVE tandem bikes. Don't you do it!
Clear bra straps!!!!!!!stupid stupid stupid
this was an awesome post. i may be a bit biased, given that i started a "get rid of pennies, and don't make war!" campaign in college. please don't ban tandem bikes - they are the most hilarious mode of transportation next to the segway.
Proud to be your mom! You've been funny since your first words, gooooo DODGERS.
freakin pennies. i have a slots for coins in the armrest of my car...i often run out of quarters, yet i always seem to never spend any pennies. they just stay there...FOR-EV-ER
You are good. You should have your own tv show.
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