The case against Wax Fruit:It almost does not seem fair to go after decorations for banishment. They are, by their very nature, frivolous and arbitrary; and any evaluation of them is strictly a matter of taste. Wax fruit, however, goes above and beyond.
OK, so you like the look of fruit. You know what is really inexpensive and would look quite pretty in your country-French style kitchen? A BOWL OF F-ING FRUIT. If no one in your family likes to eat fruit, then maybe you shouldn't be paying homage to it. Fake flowers, while similarly deceptive, at least do not look delicious.
The case against Nutrition Facts on Water Bottles The adult human body is between 50-60% water. Really, these "nutrition facts" should just say, "Ingredients: YOU." Instead, we get a chart comprised completely of zeros because someone idiot out there is afraid that their water accounts for a % Daily Value of carbohydrates.
The one piece of information that might actually be relevant about bottled water, the mineral content, is relegated to 2 point font under "ingredients." I'm pretty damn sure that my water is devoid of dietary fiber, but it might be useful to know just how much Magnesium Oxide I am ingesting.
The Verdict:
In terms of uselessness, these two items are in a dead tie. However, in terms of ubiquity, water bottles seem to have the advantage. We need water to live, and even the most environmentally conscious sometimes have no choice but to reach for an Aquafina. Wax fruit, while annoying, is not as closely associated with an essence of life. So...Nutrition Facts on Water Bottles, I proclaim thee Banished!
Up Next for Banishment: The Wave (at Baseball games) vs. Chalkboards
Note: New entries will now appear Tuesday/Thursday...I flipped a coin between Esperanto and Wax Fruit for the playoffs, and since wax fruit won the whole category we can move on...
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5 comments:
Chalkboards MUST be banished. I'm cringing just thinking about them. The sound of nails scratching down one is driving me crazy as I write this.
Oh crap, I voted before reading the description, I thought I was voting for The Wave, LA's easy listening station. But now that I think of it, that station is actually called "Coast" and "The Wave" is a smooth jazz station.
Voting Fail. I better bring my voting A game on the 4th.
I'm leaving my vote as the Wave (at baseball games) because kids love getting to write at the chalkboard.
If people are comprised of 50% to 60% water, then bullshit must comprise another 30%+...
The wave is a source of amusement for the cynical, but chalkboards are just...OBSOLETE.
you can't hate on the wave for that first go-around when enough people have put down their hot dogs and beer and rise and fall in unison. you can't hate on the first go-around. after that, banish the wave!
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